What makes life meaningful?

Prioritizing the passions and people that bring us joy

Golden hour at the Cosumnes River Preserve, one of my favorite nature spots outside the city.

From pretty early on, we gauge our progress in various areas of life through measurable metrics. Grades. Salaries. Weight, height, age, and so on. 

However, this numerical approach misses what can’t be quantified: our feelings, nourishing connections we form, the slow but steady shifts in the way we view the world. That is, it fails to capture what makes life truly meaningful. 

My own sources of meaning have shifted substantially in the last decade, and especially recently. After becoming deeply enmeshed in “the grind” last year, I realized what I valued — connection, creativity, peace of mind, good health — didn’t align with how I was living. 

The past several months, I’ve had the privilege of time. Time to reconnect with buried passions and learn more about ones that have intrigued me. Time to nurture new and existing relationships. Time to appreciate the simple pleasure of doing nothing.

As a result, there’s been a major shift in my priorities. I’m making more room for the people and pursuits that bring joy into my world, and as a result, finding more meaning in my day to day. 

After sitting down to reflect, here’s what’s been imbuing my life with meaning lately (by no means an exhaustive list!). I hope it inspires you to consider where you’ve been deriving meaning, and what you might want to further prioritize.  

Friends and Family

So many societies instill us with the messaging that romantic love is the ultimate goal and source of fulfillment. But over the years, I’ve come to see how much my platonic connections have anchored me. They give me a sense of home. 

From weddings to graduations to new endeavors, my friends are going through major changes in their lives. While I don’t see my closest friends as often as I’d like, it’s been special to celebrate their milestone moments with them. And it’s beautiful to have friends with whom you can go months — or even years — without speaking to, yet pick up right where you left off. 

I’ve also enjoyed taking day/weekend trips with my dad and brother, and going on little excursions with my mom around the city. I don’t always appreciate my family — and the unconditional love/support they give me — but these shared experiences have shown me how lucky I am.

Our time together is never enough…

I’ve also been focusing heavily on my mental health (particularly ongoing struggles with anxiety) during this time. As things have improved emotionally, I’ve developed more bandwidth for my friends and family, and feel more present in their company.

Furthermore, I’ve enjoyed making new friends locally and (virtually) keeping up with friends abroad. These connections remind me how much love I have in my life, and that friendship and family will always be at the forefront of my values. 

Poetry and Writing Groups

I moved to Sacramento in the summer of 2018. However, due to the pandemic and personal health challenges, I continually struggled to form a sense of community within the city. 

In February, I took a poetry class, which introduced me to a wonderful group of likeminded people. Several of us continue to meet, experimenting with different writing exercises, sharing our poetry, and generally supporting each other in our creative endeavors. The group has also inspired me to explore the open mic scene, which has been helping me overcome my fear of sharing my work and exposing me to how much mind-blowing talent there is in Sacramento. 

Reading aloud at an open mic last month, which was incredibly empowering (and a lot less intimidating than I imagined it to be!)

I’ve been going to weekly writing groups, as well. We’ll meet and work in a coffee shop for an hour, and I use this time to focus on one of the several projects I always seem to be juggling (like this newsletter!). Writing is such a solitary endeavor, so the accountability and support has been immensely helpful. I’ve also had so many uplifting conversations and lovely connections arise from these sessions, which has further given me the sense community I’ve been seeking. 

Yoga

I practiced yoga several times a week throughout 2018 and 2019. But when my health issues worsened, I became less consistent with my practice, eventually abandoning it altogether. 

At the end of March, I eased back into things. My goal is to build strength and to better manage stress/anxiety. 

It amazes me how many insights arise during and after a yoga class. I’ll often arrive with a buzzy mind, or be bogged down by a trivial issue that seems serious in the moment. As I breathe and bend into each posture, a lightness overcomes me.

Taken during a yoga retreat in Sonoma county, back in 2019 — definitely an experience I’d love to have again.

Like so many of you, I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body for a while, but yoga is giving me newfound appreciation for it. True to the name (yoga means “to unify”), I’m also overcome by a deep interconnectedness during these classes, a harmony with others in the room, even if we don’t speak to one another. 

And finally, while yoga has helped me become physically stronger, the benefits have extended to my mental well-being. I feel increasingly flexible in uncertain or stressful situations. I’m also more grounded and able to operate from a foundation of ease, versus a place of reactivity. As I continue my practice, I’m eager to see what else arises.

Dance 

My dear childhood friend, Chandni, got married at the end of May. Her brother, Shivam, and cousin, Nikita, organized/choreographed a dance for all of us friends to do. 

When Shivam first asked if I’d be involved, I’ll admit I was quite hesitant. I hadn’t performed in front of an audience since I was 17 and wondered whether the practice schedule would take up too much time. Long story short, I opted in and am so glad I did (thanks for the nudge, Shivam!). 

While practicing beforehand, I felt an excitement I hadn’t experienced in a long time. I grew up dancing, and it always amazed me how much freedom, confidence, and exuberance I could tap into while performing (as a very shy/socially anxious child). To reconnect with those feelings was… magical.

A couple of action shots from our performance (still can’t get these songs out of my head…)

We surprised Chandni and her husband Ryan with the dance, which was an absolute blast. The adrenaline rush. The affirmation that, “Hey, I can still do this!” Plus the reminder, “I need to do way more of this because of how happy it makes me feel.”

Dance has always felt like its own language to me. A way of expressing myself when words fall short. It’s a wonderful outlet for tapping into flow, and for cultivating a natural endorphin-driven high. 

So yes, lots more time on the dance floor to come. 

The Space To Observe

I’ve been working my way through Katherine May’s book, Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age. It’s an extended exploration of the power of being present, particularly within the natural world. 

Her anecdotes really resonate with me, because I realize how much beauty has arisen from mundane moments outdoors this year. For instance, I’ve enjoyed walking through different parts of Midtown and taking in eye-catching hydrangeas or rose bushes. Even while walking within my own neighborhood, I’m surprised by how many different types of flowers, trees, and potted plants there are.

A couple of weeks ago, while sitting with a book at the park, I stopped to observe a squirrel two feet from me. It took a leaf between its tiny paws and munched away, its cheeks bulging as it chewed. Once finished, it darted around for a few seconds before starting on another one, eventually scampering away. 

Such a simple yet wholesome encounter, yet one I’d never taken the time to appreciate.

Midtown Sacramento is full of so many little wonders.

So, What Makes Life Meaningful?

Meaning can be elusive and difficult to pinpoint. Some things may give the illusion of meaning, yet the feelings are often fleeting.

I think it all comes down to love. The love we build with those close to us, alongside the love we cultivate within ourselves, for ourselves. The unconditional love we foster for humanity and other living beings, which allows us to share more of our gifts and authentic selves with the world. From this love, we become a part of something larger than ourselves, knowing that we matter by simply existing. 

What we find meaningful will change throughout our lives. For example, travel and constantly having spontaneous experiences mattered much more to me in my early 20s than they do now. Nowadays, I’ve shifted my focus to expressing myself creatively, building community locally, and having a greater sense of peace and stability.

I’m happy to say that, though it’s taken a while, I’m living a life I no longer feel the need to escape from. This goal of living more intentionally — more than the empty ambitions I’ve chased over the years — has brought the most lasting source of fulfillment.

I hope you’re on your way to being in a similar place, too (if you aren’t there already). 

Until next time,

Brina

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💭 Reflection

How would you define “meaning”? And what makes your own life meaningful?

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🎨 Creativity Corner

• TV Show: Queen Charlotte (after being slightly disappointed by the first half of Bridgerton season three — who else? — this spin-off series more than made up for it)

• Book: I’ve admittedly been in a reading slump this year, but I recently read Sharon Salzburg’s Lovingkindness and appreciate her perspectives on love, compassion, and suffering

• Song: “6’s to 9’s” by Big Wild (I had the privilege of catching this artist when he performed in Sacramento last spring, and keep coming back to this upbeat track)

• A Fun Activity: I love this idea of a “No Bummer Summer” — essentially a list of all the experiences you hope to have during the season (we all could use a lot more to look forward to!)